Thursday, February 12, 2009
Chaddigiri
Coming to the ladies uprising against the atrocity, where is it going to lead? Just more publicity to the jerks, who crave for any form of publicity, and if it is negative publicity the better. Who are the women brigades doing this? Some urban bunch of socialites who cannot think beyond a chaddi (panty), and fuel the anger of youngsters who participate in a kind of melee or kick which would be over in a day. Instead why not find a way to kick the perpetrators.
Women’s liberation and rights should be a war and not a symbolic joke of chaddi display. It can be only won with a war and nothing else. Chaddigiri won’t win you anything. This is going to be a fizzle that would go flat, as it is with Indian public memory. What has happened to the melee of public display after 26/11? Where are the bunch of impotent celebrities like Javed Akhtar and Alec Padamsee? Neta (Politicians) and Abhinetas (Actors which includes celebrities and media) have always been an evolution of pimps, and the rest of us from chimps. So they pimp us chimps for their publicity and we get carried away. What was the need for Ram Gopal Verma and Rietiesh Deshmukh’s visit along with his Chief Minister father to the site of carnage of 26/11? Even carnage is not spared for publicity for these jokers who may now make it to a movie and we chimps would patronize.
Why not a war through education of the masses, or for that matter every woman to start to vow that BJP, or an MNS or a Shiv Sena should NEVER come to power. Never will we patronize a Ram Gopal Verma movie. Ensure any political manifesto is with time lines. A 2020 vision is great but what about something I can feel in the next 20 days or 20 months. Can we not demand the tangibles that we can experience in the short term and that be a foundation to 2020 or 200200 vision for all that I care?
Do not let a chaddi display be the only vent to your anger. Prove that behind the chaddi is a bigger revolution to follow. Dikha dey ki chaddi key peechey kya hai?
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
A ‘Golf’ story
There was this one Keralite named Jujumon in the Middle East. Don’t ask what’s new in that; aren’t all Keralites in the Middle East….or as they say “I am in golf (gulf)”. This dude was just another average, medium short, way below ordinary looking guy, something like what the Malayalam film actor Mammukoya, would have looked in his younger days (in fact even he would have looked better). Jijumon’s face read ‘Made in Kerala’, and had passable linguistic skills in English peppered with the Mallu accent. Like all Keralites had come to ‘golf’ in search of better pastures and to make a living. Though his better pastures extended to the fairer sex, to be precise only sex. Here’s was me who thought I was God’s gift to mankind (read woman kind) and had balls in my head attitude, but could never angle catches like him. Don’t know if it had anything to do with his angling rod, but the Charlie just hooked and hooked. Having lost to him (though could never admit) I just had no choice but to accept him as my Love Guru.
All my attempts were in vain trying to perfect his art, so I just gave up to ‘trying my hand at finding a solution’. This guy just was a stud, having jealousy turning me all shades of colors besides black, as that I was anyways. I remember seeing T shirts that read “I wish I was handsome instead of rich”, and I wanted to sport a T shirt that read that “I wish I was ugly like Jujumon”. Jujumon’s sexapades could regale Kamasutra to levels of a comic book. This guy could maneuver a woman like a snap, and do what he is supposed to do even faster than a snap. The icing on the cake was that woman would come back begging (on their knees) for more. I don’t know if it had anything to do with him being in sales, he never had a single dissatisfied customer, ooops I mean woman. Not that he was gigolo, as for that you need basic looks, and all he had had was a basic tool. In case you thought his catch was restricted to only Mallus then it would have been consoling for me to believing that he could only service his community, but no this guy could play regional and international levels. Some of his game which I personally know of and seen (not in action though) was a Jain (Gujju) and Paki. Imagine Jains who are pure vegetarians and don’t even eat anything that grows under the ground, here was Jijumon serving something way below. Imagine a Paki of all the game you could get away on International circuit, especially with the relationship Indians and Pakis have, here was Jijumon firing a Paki, something which the Indian Army needs to learn from Jijumon.
There are the usual pitfalls every man falls into, and that is being (nearly) caught with his pants down. Not Jijumon, he could never be caught, and that is another mystery I have never solved and stopped trying to solve. The guy was once in action, and as bad luck could have it, it had to be was a knock on the door. Such quick split was his reflex action that action heroes in Kung Fu movies could never match. From above the bed to under the bed he was in nano seconds. Camouflaged to such an extent that even if had to be there for a longer period he could pass as a piece of furniture.
As years went by Jijumon and I moved in different directions of our lives, though his direction was always focused, wherever he went. Years went by and one day I catch up with Jijumon, who is suddenly married and a father to a lovely child. We hit off as we just met yesterday, and could connect from where we left. Obviously having aged and both of us married, I felt it would be so pathetic to enquire of his old habits. I was under the impression that he is now married and a father, would now be a ‘family man’. Sure he was a family man but down below (his belt) he was the same. He was like old wine in a new bottle, with a label that read ‘I am married’, and like old wine this swine was just the same, bettering and maturing in taste (and positions).
Some people have all the luck…….just that Jijumon changed one of the alphabets in Luck with an F
Monday, February 02, 2009
Cl(ass) Reservation.
So when I hear of class reservations in our country, I remember this joke, and want to tell the jokers who run government, “Class my ass, and kick the ass asking for reservation”. But when we have asses running the government, they continue to make an ass of us and we fall prey to their divisive politics of caste, tribe, creed and religion.
I strongly advocate reservation in education to all from primary to secondary level only, especially the poor and marginalized, have reservations for them. No child in India should be ever deprived this right. That reminds me what rights we anyway have in our country. Besides reservation in education, everything else should be only and solely on merit.
We have the Marathas seeking (read demanding) reservation. Demanding reservation in government jobs and educational institutions as was being done for backward castes. So what I understand is that they would like to project that they are backward. The origins of Marathas, ‘are Indo Aryan speaking castes of Hindu warriors and peasants hailing mostly from the present-day state of Maharashtra, who created the expansive Maratha Empire, covering a major part of India, in the late 17th and 18th centuries. They were also considered as Kshatriyan warriors. Imagine a class of people whose great ancestors who prided to have created an Empire and had the courage of a warrior, now shamed by their descendants seeking to be labled as backward castes.
Muslims now feel that reservation is not a favor to them, but their right. Imagine a former chief justice A M Ahmadi, feeling that of all the minorities, the Muslim community has over the last 60 years remained marginalised in all walks of life. "They have been victims of both direct and indirect discrimination. A special effort is needed to bring them to the mainstream," he said, justifying the need for reservation, and stated that the condition of Muslims in India is no better than that of SC/STs. Islam expressly forbade all kinds of racial, tribal and colour discrimination. Any Muslim is allowed to perform any religious ritual that a Muslim priest can do. All the Muslims whether they are rich or poor, president or a common man, they all stand shoulder to shoulder and pray to Allah. If you can do what a priest can, which is a life of most nobility and austerity, you can then very well easily do something to get a decent living and not getting it through reservation.
The follows the Christians, who now feel proud to down grade a certain section by branding them as ‘Dalit Christians’. First they convert the marginalized with a promise of a better life and then push them backward for reservations. Christians take great pride to associate them as the ‘Cradle of education in India’. Then why not with the conversions have education also for the marginalized to have them compete in the real world. The Christian Churches are the biggest land owners in India. Imagine the biggest land owners pushing their community backward for reservations. “Lord forgive them for they know not what they do, and neither know what to do going forward”.
Soon we will have now all and sundry in India who feel they are backward and need reservations and are scheduled tribe and scheduled class. Why can’t we not keep our asses as backward classes and move forward, as one nation one people.
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