Dedications

There was this one Keralite named Jujumon in the Middle East. Don’t ask what’s new in that; aren’t all Keralites in the Middle East….or as they say “I am in golf (gulf)”. This dude was just another average, medium short, way below ordinary looking guy, something like what the Malayalam film actor Mammukoya, would have looked in his younger days (in fact even he would have looked better). Jijumon’s face read ‘Made in Kerala’, and had passable linguistic skills in English peppered with the Mallu accent. Like all Keralites had come to ‘golf’ in search of better pastures and to make a living. Though his better pastures extended to the fairer sex, to be precise only sex. Here’s was me who thought I was God’s gift to mankind (read woman kind) and had balls in my head attitude, but could never angle catches like him. Don’t know if it had anything to do with his angling rod, but the Charlie just hooked and hooked. Having lost to him (though could never admit) I just had no choice but to accept him as my Love Guru.

All my attempts were in vain trying to perfect his art, so I just gave up to ‘trying my hand at finding a solution’. This guy just was a stud, having jealousy turning me all shades of colors besides black, as that I was anyways. I remember seeing T shirts that read “I wish I was handsome instead of rich”, and I wanted to sport a T shirt that read that “I wish I was ugly like Jujumon”. Jujumon’s sexapades could regale Kamasutra to levels of a comic book. This guy could maneuver a woman like a snap, and do what he is supposed to do even faster than a snap. The icing on the cake was that woman would come back begging (on their knees) for more. I don’t know if it had anything to do with him being in sales, he never had a single dissatisfied customer, ooops I mean woman. Not that he was gigolo, as for that you need basic looks, and all he had had was a basic tool. In case you thought his catch was restricted to only Mallus then it would have been consoling for me to believing that he could only service his community, but no this guy could play regional and international levels. Some of his game which I personally know of and seen (not in action though) was a Jain (Gujju) and Paki. Imagine Jains who are pure vegetarians and don’t even eat anything that grows under the ground, here was Jijumon serving something way below. Imagine a Paki of all the game you could get away on International circuit, especially with the relationship Indians and Pakis have, here was Jijumon firing a Paki, something which the Indian Army needs to learn from Jijumon.

There are the usual pitfalls every man falls into, and that is being (nearly) caught with his pants down. Not Jijumon, he could never be caught, and that is another mystery I have never solved and stopped trying to solve. The guy was once in action, and as bad luck could have it, it had to be was a knock on the door. Such quick split was his reflex action that action heroes in Kung Fu movies could never match. From above the bed to under the bed he was in nano seconds. Camouflaged to such an extent that even if had to be there for a longer period he could pass as a piece of furniture.

As years went by Jijumon and I moved in different directions of our lives, though his direction was always focused, wherever he went. Years went by and one day I catch up with Jijumon, who is suddenly married and a father to a lovely child. We hit off as we just met yesterday, and could connect from where we left. Obviously having aged and both of us married, I felt it would be so pathetic to enquire of his old habits. I was under the impression that he is now married and a father, would now be a ‘family man’. Sure he was a family man but down below (his belt) he was the same. He was like old wine in a new bottle, with a label that read ‘I am married’, and like old wine this swine was just the same, bettering and maturing in taste (and positions).

Some people have all the luck…….just that Jijumon changed one of the alphabets in Luck with an F

# posted by Sunny Fernandes @ 1:58 AM