Dedications

‘Human Resources’ is another synonym for the erstwhile ‘Personnel Department’. The first department that usually welcomes you, to a make believe world of that you have arrived into the best Organization of/for your career. Pseudo assurances on how you would be cared for, plastic smiles urging to call anytime should so you need any assistance, and introducing to the ‘so called culture’ of the Organization only for you to realize that there is none. Wished the name ‘Personnel Department’ was maintained as it had something that sounded ‘personal’ at least, even if it did not mean it. The word ‘Human Resource’ stinks of human beings used as mere resources, like toilet paper or a dust bin. So as long as you are hung in the Organization, everything is so ornamental, like toilet paper or dustbin in a five star hotel. So beautifully decorated and hung. The purpose at the end is to clean crap or dump rubbish.

Employees are now waking up to the reality that there is no more the job scenario of one being employed from ‘womb to tomb’. If our earlier generation did have it, it was pure exploitation by companies that made huge profits, and the insecurity or the complacency of the employed class. Gone are the days when a ‘brand name Organization’ made a difference. In fact they are the ones who treat employees with least dignity and layoffs are done with a designer color called ‘pink slips’. It should have been ideally called ‘red slips’ as one goes red in anger, goes red deep in debt, has employees and families at times committing suicides, which finally spills red.

Many a time I don’t understand interviews conducted by HR. Can understand evaluating one on their experience and academics, but questions such as :

How long do you see yourself in this job if selected? Has any Organization given anyone an assurance of how long they will keep one employed?

Why do you want leave your present company?Obviously to earn more, but since HR is so used to hearing bullshit and talking even more bull, the reason one has to give is for better prospects and I feel I can stretch my talents better with your Organization, blah blah.

You seem to have jumped many Organizations in your career, and don’t have stability in an OrganisationDon’t organizations diversify or expand, why can’t they be stable where they are. So it is completely ok for companies to diversify and expand to make profits and completely sacrilege for an employee to expand and move on the next best opportunity, and earn more.

What is your CTC expected?Cannot understand how an employee be a ‘cost to company’ instead an employee is aninvestment into the company. ‘Cost to company’ sounds like a burden to the company, which would be replaced if the burden can be lowered and another donkey can be got to slave the same amount or even more. Guess that’s what it is supposed to mean.

Probation period till confirmation?This was something that could never be decoded. Either on probation or confirmed, you can be kicked anyways. Just that by keeping you on probation an employee can be exploited more by having some of his/her benefits deferred, like no leave during probationary period, a pay hike only after confirmation, etc. Confirmation anyways means little as it is only a mirage of security.

We as an Organization are committed to very strong ethics and have an open and transparent culture. Could anyone explain what this means? Are there any ethics in what is happening globally? Be it the GM, IBM’s or Microsoft’s or Satyam in our backyard. They ethically, openly and transparently screw you. If an IBM or Microsoft outsources it is no way that an India or China has better talent, it only means they have better donkeys that can be slaved long hours, and paid a pittance.

We offer the best performance bonuses and incentives……..Does everyone get it, and if they do, do they always get what was assured? If performance incentives are linked to a company’s performance in earning revenues, does that mean if it did not or did below expected, you pay the price, while CEO walks away with huge bonuses, etc. Guess that’s why they are called Chief Executive Office, one who executes (meaning murder) an Organization

The emphasis or glorification of a HR Department is beyond any understanding. A department which is purely to pimp talent, seduce them at a lower cost and show a carrot on a stick, and have them escorted to the boss who would use and abuse them. The ones who take the abuse continue, the ones who do not are thrown back to the HR who now dons the role of bouncer from that of a pimp, this time to show you the door.

Once you are booted out, the cycle begins all over and the saga continues, another HR round who sees you as nothing more than Human Rubbish.