Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Name Games
The Bandra Worli Sea Link a technological marvel for India was inaugurated, and it showcased to the world the engineering marvel and edge India has made, building a bridge across the sea. What angers is when we have political crooks called to inaugurate the bridge, and even worse when the bridge is named after a political joker’s late husband. He’s dead and gone and is history, why name a futuristic engineering achievement after a dead man. Could it not be just called Bandra Worli Sea Link, as that is what it would be anyways known as. Why can’t the politicians name public toilets, gutters and garbage dumps after late politicians, it would be so apt anyways, and the public would love to call them with those names only.
The common man is so stressed out anyways, he cares a hoot and neither can do much anyways on whom a place is named. The way places are named in India, I guess soon there would be no place left to be renamed or new bridges to be named and the next would be the common man whose names would be decided by politicians. There would be a new ministry for naming which would be the Ministry of Names. In future all naming ceremonies would be held at a Ministry of Names. So when a child is born you go to the Ministry and the Minister would decide what the child should be named. So if the Minister’s servant’s husband had died in the recent past, your son could be called Ramu.
The Ministry of Names would also be responsible for naming anything everything and anything. So if you get a pet at home, he too would have to be taken to MoN to get a name. So if your dog was taken for naming closer to the date when a politician had died, he would be called by that name. The owner would have loved to call his dog by names of all the politicians dead or alive, preferably alive. I made it simple for my dog. He is called Mantri (which means Minister). New animals introduced into zoos too would have to be named by MoN. So if an elephant is introduced to a zoo, she may be called Mayawati. Now this does not mean that Mayawati looks like an elephant, it is just respecting her party symbol. Naming monkeys would be the easiest.
All products that would be manufactured would have to be named by MoN. The minister of MoN can even decide to name it after religious Gods or Objects of worship. So the next model of Tata car could be called Tata Ghai (Ghai means cow, which is a sacred animal in India) which would also be symbolic as traffic anyways in India moves at the speed of cow. Similarly a new condom could be named after a Minster of Defense, as it defends you from STDs. so the next condom could be called Antony. Ad punch line for the condom will be “I do it with Antony, do you”. All light yellow colored drinks would be named after Morarji.
The MoN portfolio would also involve name blame. So if there is some mess that happened with the ruling party governing the country, the blame would have to be named on someone from the previous government. So anything that goes wrong from corruption, terrorism, riots, etc, you would not need any investigation agency as MoN would be able to name on who the blame should be.
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by, any other name would smell as sweet."So what’s in a name, it anyways stink.
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