Dedications

When everyone reminisces the thoughts of their youthful love lives it must be nostalgic to remember the seeking attention, initial conversations, the butterflies in the stomach feeling, the heart pounding when the phone rang, the lies to cover the story at home, the code words used to convey when to meet and where to meet, the small fights, the making up after that, first holding of hands, the kiss, well I don’t need to explain further as I didn’t know anything further than that. Now if you don’t trust me on that, I don’t blame you, as no one did and neither do I.

What was confusing for me was the terminology ‘falling in love’, and always wondered why was it a fall. Is not any fall a painful affair? Then I realized a love affair is always painful, and imagine falling head over heels. Such a pain seeing your friends with girls and you work towards getting a pain I mean a girlfriend. Then came the maintenance part, as in my days you needed to have a bike to have a girl, which was confusing as I did not know if the girl needed the bike or the guy. However scrapped my butt and got a second hand scooter (luckily there is nothing called fifth hand as mine was), that hurt my butt further as the seat that had seated so many butts before me, and was in such a bad condition that it was a perennial pain in the butt to ride it. So imagine the maintenance of having a girlfriend as you need to take her out to the movies, buy her peanuts, as I could afford only that, and top of that maintain my scooter. However maintaining my scooter was easier and cheaper and it stayed longer with me that my girlfriends.

As I graduated in life, as that was only part I could graduate as I did not need to work on it like my academic graduation. Now how I did my academic graduation is a different story. So in the process of life going by, love life took tones of being mature, responsible, etc, etc. So now from looking good which I was bad at, you needed to be in a good job, and mine was even more bad as most of the money used to go in smoke literally as you needed to smoke to look cool, and I was further confused how could burning lungs and burning a hole in my pocket be cool. Then came heart breaks and wondered why it was called a heart break as I never found anything broke besides me being financially broke.

Handling break ups was such a mental mind game, as after the breakup it was attempts to patch up, which was a bigger pain, and trying to act as if nothing effected you, when in reality you behave as if you have been effected by such misery and the world is going to end, and you trying to get back with your partner is not ending, and in the end she used to find someone better. All my attempts to fall in love were futile as I was always falling out of it, and both ways it was a pain.