Dedications

After hearing the banns of marriage announced in the Church, it was shocking to read a notice on my Church notice board from the biggies who run the Catholic Church in Mumbai. It was discouraging Catholics from marrying outside the faith of Catholicism.

Like how if we disobey God, the wrath that would follow on sinners, and how we would rot in hell, the notice was similar to what will happen if you marry outside the faith. I remember during my teenage days we had a discourse on marriage. One youngster from the audience asked the priest speaker, “Father how can you talk about the marriage, when you priests practice celibacy”? The reply to the question was a nice one, where the priest replied “A doctor does not need to have cancer, to treat it”.

For me it was conviction that priests can help in marriage counseling or preparation and also another loud conviction, many years late though, that marriage was akin to cancer. The cancer part was to see the amount of marriages breaking down. To make it worse Catholic religion not recognizing the need for divorce, makes couples live in the cancer of failed marriages. Though a back door exit is which is even more painful can be exercised called annulment. The point is when so many marriages within the community are corroding, what is being done to salvage that.

What the Church fails to realize is marrying outside the faith which may have its limitation, is as good or as bad as marrying within the faith but from different communities or cultures. So I guess when that realization dawns the Church may start preaching to marry within the community like within Goans, Mangaloreans, Keralities, Tamilians, and with the diversity of India, the list is endless. I remember once chatting up with a Goan family who were proud to be Catholics, and even more proud to be Brahmins. Where did Brahmin lineage come into Christianity? It was an evil medieval practice of caste system of ancient Hindu tradition where the priestly class of Hindu priests was known as Brahmins.

Then with the diversity of India as mentioned, Catholic marriages became a potpourri of traditions, where in many Christian communities the bride wears the Mangalsutra, a gold chain decorates with black beads to show a marriage status, which is a part of Hindu culture. Keralite brides wear a small pendant called a ‘thali’ again a Hindu culture. Most brides decorate their hands and feet with Henna, which is more an Islamic tradition. Brides sporting sindhoor on the forehead and with dowry still negotiated which is another evil medieval practice across all religions. Some of the rituals like tonsuring the head in South Indian Churches of pilgrimage, offerings of coconut and sweets which is again a Hindu tradition are cultural influences into Christianity.

If so much good of tradition and culture can be incorporated from other religious beliefs, what’s the harm in marriages happening within different religious beliefs? Was not Sister Nirmala Joshi who headed the Missionaries of Charity after Mother Teresa a Hindu? So if a good vocation into Catholic faith can come from other religion, it’s time the Church awakened to the reality that maybe with interfaith marriages we could have better vocations like Sr. Nrmala Joshi who can run the Church better and build a better unity amongst the many communities with Christianity and a stronger unity of the country at large.

Next time I hear the banns of marriages announced in Church, it may sound like a ban on marriage.