Monday, June 01, 2015
My friend Bon
Bonnie a.k.a. Bon and I have been friends right from the cradle to date, as our Mothers knew each other. Even had our primary schooling done together and we were like any other kids. Had our share of fights when in school, our share of fun and one day we parted as I went to continue my schooling from a boarding school. We may have met rarely and just would have exchanged hellos and carried on with our own clique of friends.
Then destiny had us meet us up again in a foreign shore. Bon hadn’t changed much, with his madness, name calling and leg pulling and wondered why was he called Bon and not Don, as he could be a terror with his idiotic foul mouthed verbosity, then I guess that what kept us going (though we didn’t, I feel sometimes) as I would be hitting back on his remarks and Bon would get innovative with the next crack he would want to have on me.
Suddenly with time we realized we had grown (sometimes with ol' buddies you just forget you have grown) and need to act mature, and so we tried too. Got into being concerned of each other lives, families, jobs, etc, and again life took its course and I moved again and Bon was doing great on his job, which he is still till date, and I was the grasshopper seeking greener pastures and convinced that the grass was green on the other side, as I have not seen grass any other color till date.
Thanks to technology which had
by then evolved in the late 90's, and we stayed connected with emails once in a while. Then the pain
of technology came with social Networking sites where we end up actually being
in a (virtual) place and have everyone around and everyone gets to see everyone
we know, and from the everyone we know they connect to the someone they would
know from the everyone in my list. I guess that’s why it is called Networking,
but does it really work? Well for Bon and me it worked as there again we were
connected.
If we were online we
would yell a hello and enquire on each other and move on till the last chat
which had an impact on Bon’s life. Bon was not yet married, and in the early
years of my married life I remember telling Bon, he needs to get married, and he
would come with his witty liners as why have a cow when you can buy milk, and
suddenly he realized that age had taken over and wished he had married a cow at
least.
My concern for Bon was always growing, as he was a great guy with a great job, nice family and everything perfect by which standards he should by now been in a happy married life. Just to understand his mind (wondered if he had one), I got curious as to why this delay. He always confided in me and said that he was looking for the perfect woman. I jokingly asked when one ever got a perfect woman. He did not get the drift as what I was trying to convey is that marriage is not about having a partner who is perfect, but about two un-perfect individuals getting together and trying to work out something perfect. Still it may not work out but then the trying is what marriage is all about, and in the process you don’t seek perfection in your partner but you try to be perfect for the other.
Bon was silent and I could
sense remorse, but what I appreciate of Bon is his modesty to accept my view and
thanked me for it. He just replied “Dude thanks for this insight, and the next
woman I am interested in, I will pop the question”. I just reminded him to
drive slow as there are millions who regret getting married. Then he was like
convinced, that if there is a marriage it would not be seeking perfection nor
having expectation, but seeking it in himself.My concern for Bon was always growing, as he was a great guy with a great job, nice family and everything perfect by which standards he should by now been in a happy married life. Just to understand his mind (wondered if he had one), I got curious as to why this delay. He always confided in me and said that he was looking for the perfect woman. I jokingly asked when one ever got a perfect woman. He did not get the drift as what I was trying to convey is that marriage is not about having a partner who is perfect, but about two un-perfect individuals getting together and trying to work out something perfect. Still it may not work out but then the trying is what marriage is all about, and in the process you don’t seek perfection in your partner but you try to be perfect for the other.
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